Chase the Setting Sun...

In 2002-2003, my senior year of high school, I felt the call to become a youth pastor in a church. A couple of years later something happened that caused me to lose that call and kind of wander for a while. I've gone from not wanting to do any ministry, to wanting to do music ministry in a contemporary worship setting, to working at a law firm doing collections, to doing worship part time, to now wondering if I should go back to youth ministry where I started.

I keep wondering what kept me from doing youth ministry in the first place. Was I called somewhere else by the Spirit? Did I get lazy and wimp out? Was I afraid of what being a youth pastor meant. More and more I am thinking it was the last two. I think I became afraid of what being a youth pastor meant (being a spiritual model to teenagers of what a Christian is and does) and then got lazy and didn't try to break past that fear.

Fear is a strong thing. It is the most powerful tool Satan has in keeping us from Christ and our calling in Him. Now, I'm not totally sure yet that I want to go back into youth ministry, maybe the Spirit is just calling me back into ministry in general. What I am sure of is I can't let fear overwhelm my decision to follow the Spirit into potentially uncharted water. I have to have faith.

Take Peter for example. When Peter sees Jesus walking on the water Jesus calls out to him "Come." Peter then gets out of the boat and walks over to Jesus. Suddenly, Peter feels the wind and becomes afraid of the fact that he is walking on the water and immediately begins to sink. (Matthew 14:22-32) Fear caused Peter to sink. He became afraid and lost his faith in Jesus to keep him afloat.

How often do we see the call of the Spirit and start out on that path and then something happens to cause us to fear the path and we abort the mission? When are we going to start following Christ no matter what happens, without fear? I pray I can leave my fear behind and press through to follow in the direction I'm called.